update: going out to dinner with the guy from the last post on saturday. need to go shopping lol
so I ended up at a bar last night, totally not planning on it at all. I was wearing my I-only-have-one-class bum outfit and shoes and only had yesterday’s make up on (that sounds gross but seriously, it’s midterms throw me a bone) and I got picked up by the cutest guy I’ve met in seoul so far.
I have never had a guy be as polite and caring as he was. I had to tell him very sternly that like, it was okay to touch me bc he didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable. yeah, right?! anyway it got to the point where he thought I was leading him away so I was like nooo I have to go home with my friends, and he said no come with me. So I had to let him go bc I’m not that person. after he left I just felt really bad bc I caught some feelings and it felt like he just wanted me for sex which is always a terrible feeling.
buuut when I left with one of my friends like 5 mins after that, we walk a bit (choosing the LONG WAY home simply bc I wanted to walk more) and he pops out of mcd’s, out of nowhere. anyway he asks to talk to me and I’m like ofc. he says he wanted me to tell him to stay and didn’t get why I let him go. so I told him like, I don’t go home with guys like that and he was like yeah, no like we don’t know each other, you misunderstood me. so I said ok fine, then accept my offer and walk me home. and he said “ok. alright. I can do that.” aaaand so he walked me home, and held my hand the whole way (:
I said bye and we exchanged numbers and blah blah there’s more to the story like we kissed and I saw stars and apparently he did too so whatever. let me just say, he is totally my type too…fuck
I was listening to a sermon by my pastor tonight just for funsies and it’s making me think really hard and really deep about how I really see, love and treat my Creator. do I really think of life in terms of “when I get a boyfriend, that’s when I’ll be happy” or “when exo have a comeback, I will finally be happy” instead of thinking “our God is alive and His spirit lives within us always and that is enough to be happy for”? apparently I do. and I need to stop that. but like Pastor Erin said, it’s not enough to lay down idols by apologizing to God. repentance isn’t just an apology. it’s admitting the sin, declaring the true belief, and not…commiting the sin again. and that’s hard but it’s not supposed to be easy.
anyway just a quick thought. have a good day! xo